Showing my Creative Heart Some Love
Mother Nature wasn’t showing much love yesterday. She hammered us with a huge blizzard here in the Maritimes.
Here on the North Mountain, the wind hit 93 kph (55mph). At times it shook the whole house, rattling windows and doors. We feel very fortunate we didn’t lose our electricity.
The blizzard also delivered about 60 cm (2ft) of snow in our area but it’s hard to tell as most flat areas were scoured clean. However, where the drifts did build they packed solid and high. I couldn’t get any pictures because our windows were covered by snow and ice blown up against them and going outside was dangerous.
Our home has weathered many storms over the past 125 years. Built by a shipbuilder, it’s solid and we never felt at risk. We did, however, discover that the old plank floor in the living room, while lovely to look at, is definitely drafty. One particular gust apparently hit just right and our area rug poofed up in the middle! Needless to say, there will be more weather proofing done, hopefully before the next nor’easter finds us.
I spent most of the day on my computer listening to the wind batter the windows. In actual fact, I wanted to be in my studio. I just never quite got there. That evening I felt out of sorts and a little dazed. Thinking about it, I recognized the feeling. It resulted from too much time on the computer.
Resistance is alive and well
I recently did a series of social media posts about Resistance which is that push away from our creative heart. You know it’s Resistance when everything else feels more important than what you really want to do. It looks like procrastination and fear is the root. Resistance is also a master of disguise and sneaks up on me all the time.
As I journaled about the storm and how I felt at the end of day, it became clear I’m in danger of re-building a structure to keep me uber-busy. Seems I’m setting a trap for myself where I fall back into the role of shadow artist – supporting the work of others while neglecting my own.
The warning sign was there. I chose to spend all day on my computer and never even went into the Studio. I fought hard to break free of the habits and beliefs that kept me at my desk before we moved. Seems I need to be vigilant or I’ll be back there quicker than you can say “working from home”.
My “Resistance of Choice” looks like busyness. It makes me FEEL all creative and useful while my own work is ignored. If I don’t make a course correction, I’ll end up talking about the work without actually doing the work.
So I reset my boundaries
The computer stays shut down until the afternoon (because I DO need to do some online work plus it keeps me connected to my friends.) When done, I turn it off completely so I can’t just ‘check one thing’.
Mornings are Studio Time. On really good days, I’ll spend all day there.
Today I did a small study in negative painting, trying out colours and technique for a larger painting I’m working on.
I’m giving my creative heart some love for Valentine’s Day.
How about you? How will you show yourself some love today?